William H. "Skip" Boyer, 32°
15817 N 6th Place, Phoenix, Arizona 85022
Skip.Boyer@bestwestern.com

Life can be tough, if you don't have the right tools.

For just $16.99, you can be the proud owner of the Multi-Worker Office Tool. That's what the ad said. In the space of 1" x 1½" x 4½", you have your handy dandy hole punch, ballpoint pen, stapler, carton opener, pencil sharpener, scissors, and a 39" tape measure. Why 39" is anyone's guess, of course, and when was the last time you actually used a pencil sharpener?

Still, it really is a remarkable little device, sort of a Swiss Army knife for office cubicle dwellers. You have everything you need, right there in one handy package in your pocket. Or, if you order right away, you get an equally handy case so you can wear the Multi-Worker Office Tool on your belt and really be the hit of the office.

"Say, John, what's that elegant but practical-looking device hanging on your belt?"

"Well, Bob, that's my Multi-Worker Office Tool, and I got it for only $16.99, and I ordered early, so I got this Not-Necessarily-Kid-Glove Leather Case!"

Or something like that.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the tools we need in life came in a handy dandy, easy-to-use, carry-on-your-belt package? Actually, to be practical, we'd probably need more than just one.

We'd have one with all the tools for parenting. The Parenting Tool would fold out and help us get through the "Terrible Twos." Another would help us over the first girlfriend/boyfriend crisis, and so on.

Then there would be the Relationship Tool. This would have separate features to help us through dating, bonding with sons and daughters, relating to co-workers, handling bosses, etc. For men—and if you order early—you get a special tool that helps you not kill the cat. Hey! You design your tools; I'll design mine.

There's a long list of possibilities here, and I'm just embarrassed I didn't tumble to the opportunities sooner. If I had, I'd probably be the genius selling the Multi-Worker Office Tool.

All kidding aside, I think I might already have the perfect tool. It's a smallish silver pocketknife that hangs on my key ring next to my car keys. It only has two small blades, and, when compared to the Swiss Army knife, it looks pretty pathetic, except for this. On both sides are the Working Tools of our Craft. Looking at them reminds me that I should always act on the level. I'm reminded to square my actions, control my desires, circumscribe my passions, and allocate my time wisely and well. And that's just for starters! How's that for an all-encompassing, incredibly useful tool? A man could live his entire life with such a tool.

I may still have to buy that Multi-Worker Office Tool. I did notice on the ad, however, this note: "Please detach and return this portion with your payment. Do not fold or staple payments to this slip." I thought about that for a moment. "Don't staple payments"? The Multi-Worker Office Tool probably doesn't have a staple remover.

Life can be tough, if you don't have the right tools.

William H. Boyer is the Director, Executive Communications, Best Western International, Inc. He is a member of Paradise Valley–Silver Trowel Lodge No. 29, Phoenix, Arizona, and serves as editor of the Lodge's Trestle Board. Brother Boyer is a member of the Philalethes Society and writes a regular column in the Society's popular magazine. A Chevalier of the Order of DeMolay, a member of the Brotherhood of the Blue Forget-Me-Not and of the Scottish Rite Bodies of Phoenix, Arizona, he is a native of Omaha, Nebraska, and holds the prestigious Accredited Business Communicator (ABC) designation from the International Association of Business Communicators. Brother Boyer has earned more than 70 regional and national awards for his writing and editorial work.